Oh my god - my script is crap! A WEEKEND WITH ROBERT McKEE

Anticipation was huge for this three day seminar series so it was no surprise the queue snaked around the block and competition for the best seats was strong.

For anyone who has seen Brian Cox's portrayal of Robert McKee in the film Adaptation, you could have been mistaken for expecting anger, bile and histrionics. In reality, McKee is hugely entertaining, as well as informative and inspiring. Who knew that watching a guy walk up and down the stage - only rarely resorting to scribblings on an overhead projector - could maintain attention, amuse and engage as McKee does. No word is wasted, no idea unexplored. For any serious writer and/or lover of film, it was incredibly easy to be completely engrossed for three long, cramped twelve hour days. (Sitting in a cinema seat for that long is not recommended, by the way. I think McKee needs to catch up with the times and start a Gold Class version with reclining armchairs and waiter service.)

McKee is certainly opinionated, offering those opinions strongly and without room for argument. He is witheringly honest about the current state of writing; whether novels, plays or films. He is even more devastating when describing the hallmarks of amateur writing. Never patronising or vague, McKee strokes no egos and provides no false hope to those 'writers' looking for the easy formula or justification for their amateurish beliefs. Instead, he shoots down those dreams with well-aimed candour. Some people will never succeed as a writer - better to be told now rather than waste years bugging Hollywood readers with abysmal scripts.

McKee characterises the major difference between professional and amateurs quite simply. Amateurs love everything they've written and find writing a joy. Professionals hate everything they've written and find the process painful and uncomfortable. But that is how it should be - excellence is hard. If writing were so easy to be a joy, there would be nothing remarkable in it. We'd all be turning in Oscar-worthy scripts by the truckload. No - a true writer has to force themselves to the desk to keep going, rejecting 90% of the pages they produce and still carrying a niggling unsatisfied hatred for the small 10% that forms the final manuscript.

If his intention was to scare off the feint-hearted, he may well have succeeded. After three days of intense analysis and detailed deconstruction, there could be no one left in the auditorium who still harboured beliefs that writing was a fun hobby. Each and every scene, every beat of dialogue, every nuance and plot twist and subtext was shown to be a specific and calculated choice out of hundreds of possible permutations examined and discarded by the writer. There were many in the audience grimmacing as they saw their lovingly-typed scripts mentally disappear in a smoke of realisation.

"Oh my god - my script is crap!" was a common reaction after each two hour session revealed ever more ways a budding writer's story may be, in reality, a mess. I'm certainly not alone here. My scripts were continually turning over in my mind with each new nugget of analysis from McKee. Scenes I once hung onto as my favourite moments suddenly were revealed as painfully inadequate and almost embarrassing.

Fantastically, the weekend was rounded off with a six hour screening of Casablanca - allowing us to stop after each scene and deconstruct the story in minute detail. Although not advisable on a first viewing, most of the audience were already huge fans of the film like myself, and therefore were ready to appreciate how this story is constructed from carefully woven threads of plot and character.

Certainly, the key to developing as a writer is to try, fail, learn and try again. For that reason, we all left on Sunday evening exhausted and cramped, yet better skilled and inspired to work even harder and longer to produce excellence in story.

Jonathan Crossfield
COPYWRITE: Ramblings From A Writer's Desk
jonathancrossfield.com